and not do--tough love--don't enable--detach with love if need be--it's very complicated to distill into just a few words, and the word itself means so many different things, yet I know you are talking of Love as opposed to love, and then there are the emotional components of Love and love, the feelings that ebb and flow from them, as opposed to the it that is Being In Love, which is not an emotion, it is a condition, a state of being, which yes we can fall into and out of because we are not immutable