Continuation of previous comment (I find that when a single comment passes a certain length they glitch...)

Lindsey died almost three years ago (https://medium.com/paper-poetry/toasting-lindsey-with-tankas-f738272aed7c). My grief never goes away but it is never as intense as it had been. (Process?)

I wrote this tanka about a year after her passing:

"Deaths’ facts differ still

Will drives lives’ paths to deaths’ dates

Love burns — searing pain

Deepest loss most room for gain

Endless pain, Light fills the drain"

The first two lines of the poem represent my belief in the predestination of the date of death, but that our paths to death, how we lead our lives, we do very much determine through the exercise of free will (both our own free will and the free will of others). The third line evokes the excruciating pain felt by the soulmate left behind. I almost ended there with that haiku. Yet, I did not want the poem to leave the reader with the dark feeling of hopelessness. So, I added a turn to Light — the last two lines paint a silver lining. While nary a day shall pass that I will not mourn the sudden and tragic loss of my 36.5-year-old lover, my infinitely large pain pockets will never empty, meaning as they drain, they contain space for an infinite amount of Light to shine. (Process?)

PS: Above I referred to my spiritual awakending as instantaneous. Yet, it also resulted from and continues to be a process. The journey to that point was years long ( https://medium.com/about-me-stories/my-journey-spiritual-and-otherwise-9d5f6aca18ee ) and the process continues and ebbs and flows ( https://medium.com/living-out-loud/proudly-living-out-loud-e340caf346b9)( https://medium.com/illumination-curated/100s-of-stories-about-spiritual-awakening-no-one-seems-to-discuss-the-difficult-and-crucial-e896617b5082)