Excellent presentation. Do you ever read Douglas Giles PhD's Medium essays? You and he and very much on the same page here. See his https://dgilesphilosopher.medium.com/buddhism-is-still-wrong-7419db7110b6, subtitled "Yelling and denial don't alter this," which was a follow up to his...oh....I see now you did read his first essay...

I liked very much seeing you talk about the paradoxes and that these topics properly belong on a continuum. I recently wrote a poem, https://medium.com/@marcus17043/of-duality-and-nonduality-e7c26181c2ed subtitled "A sonnet of both perspectives are true." The first stanza is:

"Love The Beatles with all my heart and soul

From Across the Universe we are joined

Recognize all our spectrums and no poles

Dual and nonduality Selves conjoin"

and concludes with the couplet:

"All isms only cause separation

Open hearts minds to Divine connection"

My poets notes include "I now realize that nonduality and duality are simultaneous truths. It’s all a matter of perspective, just like Einstein’s theory of relativity," and "From the widest angle, nonduality is clear but the more one magnifies the more one perceives duality."

That magnified view is like your "the fact is reality remains firmly in the mud of every day life."