Fabulous. I have not yet met anyone who owns with me my understanding of why we are here as you do. My awakening was painful for a different reason--it was an instantaneous awakening triggered by the sudden tragic unexpected death of my lover. I have essayed extensively and am in the midst of a 4000 word and growing essay on my path from awakening to integration. I am not sure yet where I want that housed. Perhaps CYMCYL is the place and that is why I was presented with the opportunity to read your story. We have much not and much in common. I am pleased to have "met" you. Feel free to reach out if that is in our tarot ;), i.e., what our spirit guides hope for each of us