Festus, I get where you are coming from because I am getting to know you, but I do not think you get where the writer is coming from. The writer feels absolutely lost and is in pain. You seem to see everything through the view of logic devoid of empathy. You remind me of the people who look first for differences between themselves and the speaker at a meeting, which is usually most aspects, because people are different and almost all the facts are, instead of filing the differences away and looking for the one thing in someone's story that you can relate to, which is usually a feeling, and then that part is the only part you should share with the writer, the part that you identify with, the part that unites you instead of the multiple parts that set you apart. Once you have established a bond, then you can be more critical. Meaningful engagement is an art. There are times to debate. And there are times to listen. This writer needed to be listened to--not lectured. That is what Dr Mehmet Yildiz stands for. That is synergistic.