I am not a big believer in AA as it's devolved into a society of shame, but I am a big believer that the spirituality of Steps 4, 5, 8, 9, 10 and 12 can provide those muscles you need. I write that everyone on earth should practice these steps and that spirituality does not require belief in god, if that's an issue for you. https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/spirituality-redefined-ff45cb53eaf2