I do not know if this will resonate with you, but it's what I thought of as I read your titles. My pen name has undergone several transitions. from Yohanan Gregorius, to Yohanan Marcus, to Marcus. Yet I have from time to time disclosed the source of those transitions, and that I was born Gregory Maidman. This has been a process of my spiritual awakening and realizing that my soul has always been named Marcus and that I have been known by 17,043 different human names. If you are interested in that process of integration, or as I sometimes refer to it, the deconstruction and reconstruction, https://medium.com/mystic-minds/spiritual-awakening-followed-by-integration-and-alignment-9d4595be7dc6. I realize your issues are different on the surface, yet, I have no doubt that in my 17,042 previous lives that I have been faced with your issues. https://medium.com/grab-a-slice/i-am-avessel-with-17-042-previous-life-cycles-of-amassed-empathy-46df1b45261a and those of any other writer and/or reader on Medium