I identified with a lot of this story. Especially the feelings but also some of the facts of your David's and my Andrew's lives. I lost Andrew to suicide almost 16 years ago when he was 39. The very successful lawyer left behind a wife, twin boys who had just had their bar mitzva and a daughter a few years younger. The shock is what is most similar. None of us knew about his secret life as a sex addict and how tortured he was. When I read your title and subtitle and before I knew who or what lead to your grief, I knew I would leave this quote of mine in a comment, which is from my story about our friendship and my discussions with his soul: "Tears streamed down my face then (I am crying now too after all these years — some pain pockets have infinite depth, the silver lining of which is that as they drain there remains infinite room to fill with Light)." If you or anyone else wants to read the story and its messages of suicide attempt prevention, here is the link: https://medium.com/the-pom/dizain-of-suicide-72bcde4dc8d8