"I love how music triggers memories — often bringing me back to a time that now seems simpler and yearned for — but in reality those times were no simpler than the present — maybe it just seems that way because I survived them — because they are safely in the past?"

I wrote those words in a long personal essay that I wrote mostly for myself in December 2013. I put it up on Medium when I joined in 2020 and since added this note:

"Do you fondly recall your firstborn? I speak not of children but of personal writing. This is mine and I love it more than anything I have written since. Doesn’t mean it’s my best piece, but it’s damn good, and some of it certainly feels downloaded and foreshadowed much that has followed. I covered a wide range of topics from heavy — substance abuse, depression, suicide, and codependency — to light — love, my children, my favorite foods, and my favorite music and lyrics. A true self-portrait in essay form. The good, the bad, the ugly — and the beautiful. I wrote it in December 2013. Published it on Medium in 2020. As Conni Walkup Hull reminded me yesterday when I read her You Don’t Need Permission to Tell Your Story, You own everything that happened to you, this is my story. A few of you have read it. I share it now with all of my subscribers (at least the ones that Medium will not fail to email) and I hope you enjoy it and get something out of it. I did. It’s my story." It's called Self Portrait Essay (circa 2013) if you're pulled to read it.