I really enjoyed your story. I was drawn to read your piece from the title and then I started reading and the first two paragraphs pulled me in. Suicide and suicide prevention is a topic I have written about (At first I thought your piece was nonfiction--then I checked the reader interest tags, which as an editor I can see.) Your second paragraph reminded me of a poem I wrote:

"We Are Only As Sick As Our Secrets

Suicide provides no relief at all

On ledge imagining end to my pain

Pavement streaming toward me will not end fall

Just before break solution becomes plain

My penance to help others to refrain

Thought my loved ones better off without me

Truth’s too likely they’ll header into sea

Had I known that death cannot be cheated

Baring deep secrets would cure malady

Death would not have left loved ones defeated"

If you want to read the 17 minute companion essay to the poem, here's the link: https://medium.com/the-pom/dizain-of-suicide-72bcde4dc8d8