I see a strong connection between your overall thoughts on emotional intelligence, and these specific words I highlighted here that you had in bold, and my essay the other day, https://medium.com/@marcus17043/why-do-good-people-fear-their-own-shadow-8e5a921ac775 (which incorporated many great pieces I have read on Medium lately) about examing one's role in a conflict and how I applied that "shadow work" and Step 4 concept to the situation I described therein. I wish you had written this in the few weeks that I had my essay formulating in my mind, or that any earlier work of yours on the subject had popped into my mind, then I would have included your wisdom as well.