I suffered what I call guerrilla warfare trauma from my father that when I try to explain it to others it's so off the charts devious that it seems inconsequential because even i cannot articulate why it did to me what it did but I know he did it on purpose because he was jealous of me since i was three and needed to make himself feel better by attempting to destroy me, https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/why-i-canceled-my-father-bcb60831ee35 which he did for many years till I awoke