"I will end my essay with an explanation of this title I chose for the dizain. “We are only as sick as our secrets,” possibly coined in AA, means that a secret kept in the dark grows and becomes more harmful, but once it is exposed to light or released, its power is lost. Andrew’s secrets ate him up inside and lead to the manner in which he died. My soul partner Sitara, whom I knew this life cycle as Lindsey, and loved with all my heart and soul, died of an accidental overdose caused by the secrets she kept from her family — and even one from me, despite her knowing that I never once had and never would have judged her.

Sometimes the person one must forgive above all others is themself.

Please, I implore anyone suffering who is reading this, to seek and you shall find someone with whom you can share your secrets without fear of judgment. I assure you, that person exists. Perhaps it’s a friend, spouse, lover, clergy, psychologist? Even a stranger."

That's from my https://medium.com/illumination/dizain-of-suicide-72bcde4dc8d8. You might give it a fresh read Mehmet given what you shared with me via Slack.