I'm reminded of the portion of my favorite book (Narcissus and Goldmund by the author who has impacted me the most, Hermann Hesse), the portion where Goldmund seeks and after being turned down is granted an apprenticeship with a master sculptor. Goldmund ends up breaking the masters heart and spirit when after many years together, he turns down the opportunity to take over and the offer to marry the daughter. Have you ever read any Hesse? I posted a short form about 3 years ago "One of the most life-altering spiritual books one can read is not written by a self-help guru. I speak of Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse." It's only about 130 pages.

Narcissus and Goldmund I've read four times starting when it was assigned in high school and most recently late last spring or early summer