I'm sure you are still a sweet person. Take the time you need to heal while keeping your eyes open. Perhaps when you are healed enough, the universe will put a well-balanced someone in your path with whom you can drop your drawbridge and explore an interdependent relationship. That person might not be your person as opposed to a stepping stone to a "right" person and further healing. I only say that to maintain perspective. I often want to puke when I read toxically positive messages.