Many years ago, I used to frequent meetings in church basements. That's a euphemism for AA. At the time, I hadn't achieved "a God of my understanding," thus I struggled with steps that mention God and with the sometimes beneath the surface and sometimes in your face Christianity in the rooms (see my https://medium.com/illumination-curated/12-step-programs-god-problem-dea17a6e0536 subtitled "These spiritual programs need to stop proselytizing religious principles and groupthink mentalities and promote the vital and authentic uniqueness of each individual").

Step 3 says "Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." Many in the rooms would talk about letting go of their own will and letting God run the show. That never sat right with me. Step 2 says "Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." That also didn't sit well as the way many people read it is best described by steps 6 and 7, which I reject: "6. Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

7. Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings."

Then, I realized something. At the end of the discussion of step 2 in The 12 and 12, it says:

"Therefore, Step 2 is the rallying point for all of us. Whether agnostic, atheist or former believer, we can stand together on this Step. True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to God." [emphasis added]

The part I highlighted was the key for me. Turning our will over means a choice to stop being selfish assholes living in resentment and hate--to decide to live in compassion and empathy--in love, acceptance and forgiveness--that's right relation to God. That's as I highlighted to start this response, "It is up to [us] to use [our] gifts and resources, [our] free will to provide a good life for all people."