My daughter's middle name is Leila, for Leila Pahlavi, a sweet and tortured human (I first typed soul...) who was a dear friend of Sofia's mom and I cared for her too, who left us too young, so I chose the middle name (I chose Sofia for Liz's dad's mother Sophie, whom I never met and I love the Bulgarian spelling and Greek (both?) meaning). Liz and Leila were dear friends because Ali Reza, the younger of two sons of the Shah was Liz's long-term boyfriend before me. A month before we got engaged, we were all out at a night club and I whispered to him, "Thank you for doing the right thing by breaking up with her (he knew he would never make her 'happy')--I'm going to ask her to marry me." He cried happy tears and of relief from perception of hurting her. A few years later he shot himself, leaving behind a child and a wife from sometime after Liz and I got married. I left Liz in 2010. I'm writing this email from her couch, which used to be my couch, as she, our son, and my parents and one of my sisters and her husband and one of her children all had Passover together last night. The "Last Supper" was a Passover seder. Ali Reza was a student of or maybe even a believer in Zoroastrianism. White Feather indicated that Zoroaster and Jesus had the same soul. https://whitefeather9.medium.com/the-real-story-of-the-3-wise-men-2db6988859f8 I wrote this poem a few days ago when prompted to write an Easter poem. https://medium.com/@marcus17043/good-jews-love-jesus-too-696a5bc4eb42 You will love it. You might even love this comment more as you will appreciate the interconnectedness.
I become more and more convinced that one of my dharma is to attempt to achieve suicide attempt prevention and/or relieve the friends and family who might feel guilt for not preventing:
That essay starts with this poem:
We Are Only As Sick As Our Secrets
Suicide provides no relief at all
On ledge imagining end to my pain
Pavement streaming toward me will not end fall
Just before break solution becomes plain
My penance to help others to refrain
Thought my loved ones better off without me
Truth’s too likely they’ll header into sea
Had I known that death cannot be cheated
Baring deep secrets would cure malady
Death would not have left loved ones defeated
I had always thought that “My penance to help others refrain” was a third-person reference to Andrew, but lately I suspect I might have committed suicide in a prior life or felt responsible for one.
