Not easy to unpack this, especially when I have not experienced the type of trauma you describe.

1) Check out this poem by Helen (You, Me and Happiness), https://medium.com/illuminations-mirror/processing-pain-95deba813812 , and the conversation that ensued between us and the link that I put in there to Tim Andersen's essay. Not sure if it's right on point but it's a fairly complete exploration of the topic from various worldviews.

2) I think your question implicates the human soul duality, https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/the-human-spirit-duality-e456c0729e99 (which I don't think you read), and as I stated therein, " the goals of the human and the goals of the soul may be, from the human perspective, irreconcilable. Humans want nothing but happiness but perhaps the soul came here to experience the opposite so that it can learn to guide other humans when it is not incarnated and is assigned as a spirit guide or to some other work in heaven."

So, pain could be one of those things that it is in the soul's interest to experience that is beyond the limited biological purpose of human pain. It could be that the soul simply wants to experience pain so that it knows what it feels like. See this essay that I read recently ( https://medium.com/new-earth-consciousness/the-real-reason-we-incarnated-to-earth-c75ea795e20c ).

The soul could also have chosen to experience pain because it wants to ascend to the highest levels of heaven and to serve humanity from there. In one of my first readings with Anne, my lead spirit guide said to me:

"It is around this time where you the soul and collectively the community of spirits start to decide what level they want to attain and what price it will cost them on earth. [No pain, no gain]. Now you can understand that not everyone wants to attain nirvana as you say. To attain nirvana, you would go on a completely different cycle, and that usually happens after a vast number of lifetimes lived. The lifetimes that you start to choose to live [at that point] are with great suffering. Think of the severely retarded, the severely mentally ill, POWs, people who have died violently at the hands of great evil and even stillborns who give up their life experience for the host.

These life cycles will continue again and again and if you have lived your life according to our plan, will allow you to go to higher and higher levels. One obtains full enlightenment when there is nothing more for you to suffer — when there is nothing more for you to learn!

Then you would be in the realms with the great archetypes, messengers and guides and archangels. You then would have an awesome burden and responsibility to heal those souls that remain on earth.”