On Thursday I read Alan Arkin's "Out of My Mind (A sort-of-memoir)" in one sitting. It's just 100 not long pages. This passage connects to the quote you used:

"Who is this person? Who and what is this "me"? I no longer know. My definition of who and what I am is fast disinte grating. My life is mostly an occurrence now.

It feels as if during the first half of this existence I was living in a small, slightly stagnant pool of water on the edge of a river, filled with very specific hopes and dreams and plans, while paddling aimlessly around in the algae and tadpoles and scum. But through whatever work I've managed to do with the help of the several mentors I have had, I seem to have escaped from the pool and have begun living in the flowing, clean, and clear motion of the river. And then, as I've got accustomed to the motion and flow and have become a bit more courageous, I have started gravitating toward the center of the river, where the current runs more swiftly, and suddenly I'm in the middle of the river, and there is no time for hopes and dreams and plans. There is only time to concentrate on the immediate task of poling and rowing, otherwise I will be dashed against the rocks. Sooner or later, it is promised, one will get to the ocean."

I left a very long comment in a Maria Rattray story several hours ago about another part of the book: https://marcus17043.medium.com/wonderful-piece-maria-8f7a492e85a1