Or this schmuck who was careless enough for it likely to have been stolen by a guest who I never should have had in my apartment three years ago. and I have no idea where my birth certificate is or my social security card and neither does any family member that I have asked--I was so relieved when they extended by another two years the deadline to get a federally approved version of my driver's license or I wouldn't even be able to fly domestically

PS: I love the revised name of the pub