Perhaps anonymous reporting to adult protective services so you can try to make a difference without getting get sucked in.

Am I recalling correctly that you are in rural NY State?

"there are several ways to report both suspicion of and confirmed cases of abuse and neglect in New York. You can call the New York State Protective Services for Adults Hotline at 1-800-342-3009. You can call 9-1-1 if someone is in immediate danger or risk of harm, or you can call 3-1-1 to report suspicion of abuse to the appropriate authorities. Beyond that, check out the New York Elder Abuse resources page, or the NCEA State Resource Directory"