So sorry you lost a brother in this manner. Suicide touched my life, and when I spoke to his soul several years later, that conversation stayed with me and saved my life from ruin a year after that. I've written about that a few times, most completely here: https://medium.com/the-pom/dizain-of-suicide-72bcde4dc8d8

The piece starts with this poem I wrote:

We Are Only As Sick As Our Secrets

Suicide provides no relief at all

On ledge imagining end to my pain

Pavement streaming toward me will not end fall

Just before break solution becomes plain

My penance to help others to refrain

Thought my loved ones better off without me

Truth’s too likely they’ll header into sea

Had I known that death cannot be cheated

Baring deep secrets would cure malady

Death would not have left loved ones defeated