Thank you for articulating so well the thought that I now supplement your story with from my story still sitting in my draft folder: "Not long after awakening this thought popped into my conscious: the total-abstinence-requirement is a deep flaw. "The slogan 'It works if you work it [so work it your worth it]' can be demoralizing due to the implication that those who are unable to maintain abstinence simply are not trying hard enough, when the reality is that 'success rates are not high with any approach to addiction treatment, even residential or partial hospitalization with medication management, and they are even lower with 12-step alone.'"(Psychiatryadvisor.com) It's too scary and/or painful for many, hence the tremendous relapse / failure rate, and then when the relapse happens, they make them go all the way back to step 1. It's so hard to keep the faith even when one truly believes in a higher power, how do they expect someone to keep enough faith not to fall back on the one thing they are sure about" when they shame instead of elevate?