Thank you for sharing your story with our readers. This is a topic that means much to me. Please allow me to share this work of mine with you, and I hope you also read the comments that it garnered, particularly the one from Thomas Villanueva (I hope I remembered his name right) https://medium.com/recovery-cultures/drilling-down-to-the-root-cause-of-addiction-7c57c5a3fd6c I also think you will relate to much of what Holly Kellums writes (there are some links in my piece). If you like poetry, Kira Dawn (Kira Dawn) writes gripping pieces in this arena.