The truth is there is always a solution. If the facts can't be solved, then the solution is found in changing our attitudes and reactions, which I see from reading your wonderful piece, I think you know. I would not go so far as to say giving up is cowardice, but it's certainly the wrong move. While your piece is not overtly about depression or suicide, my intuition tells me to share this story of mine with you and anyone else who might read your story and the comments: https://medium.com/the-pom/dizain-of-suicide-72bcde4dc8d8. As I quote Viktor Frankl therein, "“it turned out there was a solution to their problem, an answer to their question, a meaning to their life.”

"Even if things only take such a good turn in one of a thousand cases, who can guarantee that in your case it will not happen one day, sooner or later? But in the first place, you have to live to see the day on which it may happen, so you have to survive in order to see that day dawn, and from now on the responsibility for survival does not leave you."