This connects directly with Paper Poetry's prompt this month, “What it means to love and hope in the most difficult time?” https://medium.com/paper-poetry/love-in-difficult-times-b03051ca934b Perhaps you will try your hand at poetry. Free verse would suit your streams of consciousness style.

Here's my Paper Poetry submission to the prompt if you're interested, https://medium.com/paper-poetry/whats-your-vulnerability-quotient-b10b6ffeb9a2, which is a short poem, which is also the first stanza of a longer poem that I flowed into that might interest you: https://medium.com/channspirations/lifes-contradictions-and-paradoxes-8c99c537a3c0, subtitled "Poem explores some and suggests embracing uncertainty over answers and solutions"