This is definitely one of your better pieces. Thank you for sharing in more first person narrative. I identify with much of article. Emerson's essay has had a huge impact on my life. First when I was 17 but my covert narcissist father succeeded in sabotaging my path to nonconformity until I had the most painfully instant soul awakening possible almost a year ago now when my lover passed away suddenly, tragically, in the here-one-nanosecond gone-the-next-manner. Usually I start linking to my stories, but I'm not feeling like that now. Anyone who is engaged by what I have said so far will synchronously find their way to my stories if that is what the universe feels they need. I very much identify with what you said about parenting. I have published this actual email to my kids which I drop in full here:

"A parent has 2 prime responsibilities:1A) loving one’s children unconditionally and, especially when the child is young, making sure the child feels loved; 1B) discussing life lessons that the parent has learned. These two things will prepare a child to be an adult and to navigate life.

Learning only happens from making mistakes. A parent can discuss lessons it has learned in the hope that the child will recognize that it is in a situation like the parent described and not make a mistake, but learning cannot happen without making mistakes.

So the first lesson from me: do not worry about perfection. Do your best, but don’t let the pursuit of perfection paralyze you; be ok with making mistakes if you do not repeat the same mistake over and over and over again. You will, many times. Eventually, awareness will set in you’ll see yourself heading towards the same mistake, and then you’ll do something differently, large or small, and you will avoid the mistake.

I could go on for many pages probably, but I want to focus on the most important lesson I can help you with, one that took me my entire adult life to learn: one will never achieve success if they follow a path ill-suited for one’s essential nature. People can measure success in many ways. Most often success is thought of in financial terms and we can stick with that. A distant third to responsibilities 1A and 1B is providing financially. At this, I have not been successful and instead of getting better, it’s been getting worse. People look at how smart I am and think certain things must hinder me. Truthfully, even those certain things would not retard me, and may not even exist, if I had looked within and charted my own course rather than just follow the standard, go to college, go to grad school, get a good job path without giving much thought to what the proper career choice for me. Becoming a lawyer seemed to fit; I realized at about 20 that law fit better than business, and law school and a few years as a lawyer was in all events a good choice and maybe even the right choice up to a point, but it is not the correct-sized round hole for my round peg.

You have probably heard, “try as you might, you cannot fit a square peg into a round hole.” Not heard is that a round peg will fit a square hole, but not well. If the diameter of the circle is just a smidge smaller than the sides of the square, it will fit ok but there will be lots of unfilled space — unfulfillment. That’s ok. Maybe. But if the diameter is any smaller than that, it will endlessly slide around and get bruised banging into the walls of the square. That is me. I have clues to what my calling is and it is never too late to remake oneself and I shall succeed.

The important thing that I can impart to you now is to learn to look within. You already know every answer you need in life. Be patient, sit with decisions until they not only seem right but feel right. Trust your gut. There is a difference between doubts in your head and feelings in your gut. There is a difference between being nervous in your gut and something really not feeling right in your gut. You will need to discern for yourself how to discern those differences; everybody is different. I can help you when you are trying to tell the difference if you come to me for help. I can guide you but the ultimate decision would have to be yours. It’s fine to make mistakes. I just hope you recognize mistakes way earlier than I have."