This is the source of my remaining "fear" of death. While I don't "fear" for myself because my perspectives on life, after/between life, reincarnation, etc. (you enjoyed my https://medium.com/the-taoist-online/my-journey-toward-understanding-the-cycles-of-life-death-and-between-life-cc64f6d3b42b and your readers may too) now impact much of my attitudes and thinking, I may anguish for those who will mourn me. I wrote this single-line tanka in early 2021 in one of my early Illumination-Curated pieces: https://medium.com/illumination-curated/the-illusion-of-death-84c4c250df80, subtitled "A traditional [single line] 31-syllable tanka plus an educational discussion about the art form and how it differs from haiku"
Exit-date illusion souls do not dissipate still leaving all-too-real for somnambulists yet waking won’t salve grieving hearts
That story also quoted this earlier tanka of mine:
Deaths’ facts differ still
Will drives lives’ paths to deaths’ dates
Love burns — searing pain
Deepest loss most room for gain
Endless pain, Light fills the drain
I decoded that tanka thusly:
"The first two lines of yesterday’s poem represent my belief in the predestination of the date of death, but that our paths to death, how we lead our lives, we do very much determine through the exercise of free will. The third line evokes the excruciating pain felt by the soulmate left behind. I almost ended there with that haiku. Yet, I did not want the poem to leave the reader with the dark feeling of hopelessness. So, I added a turn to Light — the last two lines paint a silver lining. While nary a day shall pass that I will not mourn the sudden and tragic loss of my 36.5-year-old lover, my infinitely large pain pockets will never empty, meaning as they drain, they contain space for an infinite amount of Light to shine."
Just today I found myself contemplating that there are different types of fear. Survival instinct is a biological/neurobiological fear of tangible things that can harm us. Fear of death is more of an intangible fear--a fear of intangible things--what ifs and uncertainty.
My most recent IC submission, my first in a very long time, an over 100-line poem, https://medium.com/illumination-curated/poem-of-war-peace-love-fear-science-philosophy-and-spirituality-542c44925416, included these words:
"Love or fear, can you discern the difference?"
A thoughtful writer and reader, Henya Drescher responded to those words:
"Could be closely related."
I replied to Henya:
"Yes, that's why it can be difficult to discern which is driving the car as they are so equal in intensity, yet I suspect love paves the path toward serenity and fear paves the path toward chaos. Obviously I'm not talking about the type of fear used to avoid a tiger in the jungle."
