Welcome back PPG. Excellent essay. You may recall that I broke up with my father. I have forgiven him, and me, and have told my mother that I am open to reconciliation but that ball is in his court. https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/oh-daddy-c3e0626cef50 . I wish he would dribble towards the lay up, but he won't, and that's ok. I even called him out of the blue last week https://medium.com/illumination-curated/the-self-healing-power-of-learning-to-identify-with-the-feelings-of-others-113f7697cf7a because my mother had been exposed to COVID while visiting family out of town and I did not think she should return to him until she quarantined and tested negative. I know I did the karmic thing by placing that call. I surprised many by doing so. Maybe they'll understand me better now. I'll know when we all get together in heaven for life reviews.