Whether or not you believe in reincarnation (I do), you may find the perspectives I essay in these pieces aligned with your story: https://medium.com/grab-a-slice/i-am-avessel-with-17-042-previous-life-cycles-of-amassed-empathy-46df1b45261a

https://medium.com/new-earth-consciousness/christmas-tree-brain-results-in-black-slaves-from-the-1700s-making-love-in-2020-bae7d9867209