Wonderful essay. Your multidisciplinary talent seems boundless.

Those lines and these, "'Then why are you afraid of something you haven’t encountered? How is that possible? When did it start?'” remind me of a wonderful essay that jules-Miz Mindful published a few days ago: https://medium.com/illumination-curated/changing-the-stories-of-our-lives-4b9c6b4c7e6d The first two paragraphs are:

"Do you ever look in the mirror and ask, “What’s wrong with me?” I know I do. I feel like a misfit and broken sometimes. Do you? Is it a misalignment of values and goals? Maybe, just maybe, I’m not broken at all. Perhaps it's just an old worn out story that keeps repeating itself.

Is it fear? Is it a lack of self-trust? Or something altogether different? These questions run amok through my brain a lot lately. I question what holds me back from feeling connected to my spirit energy and achieving what I feel is my purpose. I have spent most of my life living in the shadows of fear — of being judged by others, making mistakes, never being good enough, and not living up to my potential."