You and anyone else who relates to your story may connect with https://medium.com/technical-excellence/i-do-not-believe-that-any-god-desires-worship-39268e70d0b8 and with Laxaa's story linked therein in which she writes "I am not saying that all “religions” are valid. I am saying no “religion” is valid. Many “religions” contain kernels of truth; aspects of God. Many “religions” lay claim to certain mystics who were undoubtedly Divinely inspired and knew God. But no “religion” has a monopoly on God precisely because once something becomes “religion” man has added earthly things to it. Earth is not Heaven. As we said when we started this chat, there is no religion in Heaven.?