You are reading that lyric, "nothing's gonna change my world" as a lament. I read it as the chaos around me will not alter my inner piece. I didn't have that interpretation until May 2020 when Rama had Anne send me the video of Fiona Apple's cover https://youtu.be/CmlnO1EwCT4

Also, "Jai guru deva, om" likely refers to spiritual guidance.

The song has been with me for as long as I can remember. The first lines, "Words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup

They slither wildly as they slip away across the universe

Pools of sorrow, waves of joy are drifting through my opened mind

Possessing and caressing me" I used in my high school yearbook because at that time they reflected the bittersweet passage from the safety of home and high school to the uncertainty of college.

The lines "Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns

It calls me on and on across the universe" I included in my first piece of self expository writing in 2013. I don't know why I included those then but years later I realized it foreshadowed my relationship with Sitara, as did this passage:

"Perhaps because I am not driven by sex, but by connection, is also why I am capable of platonic love of a woman. It seems that most people do not believe that such can exist because they are not capable of it. For me, the choice between no relationship because for whatever one or many reasons romance is not in the cards, or having that person in my life and deriving shared spiritual pleasure from each other’s non-romantic intimacy and company and connection, is a no-brainer in favor of the latter."

At the time I had in mind a new friendship that while I found her attractive I knew would never go down that road. Redsicovering my essay 7 years later after Lindsey passed, the passage I wrote 6 years before I met her, took on a whole new meaning for me and I decided that I wrote it then because Marcus knew what was likely to happen in the future.

I published that first and still most cherished a couple of months after I joined Medium. If and when you may feel like looking at the various snapshots that formed my self portrait in 2013, some of which you will recognize from my later Medium writing, and have the time for the estimated 17 minute read...https://medium.com/know-thyself-heal-thyself/self-portrait-in-essay-form-circa-12-2013-7bdac6f1510e